I’ve been pushing myself to write an entry again for the past few days, but each time that I actually have the time to do it I just don’t know where to start and what to actually write, which is understandable because of the state of my mind right now. It’s cluttered. It seems like I’ve been trying to push aside the clutter that’s in my mind and cover it up deceiving everyone and anyone around me.

I feel like I’m lost 80% of the time and I don’t feel like I belong. I always feel like I’m an outsider, with others and within myself. I don’t mind not ‘belonging’ into a group of people; I guess I’ve learned to live with it and loved it, the part that’s the most difficult thing for me is not belonging within myself. There’s something inside of me that just doesn’t feel right and/or it’s always somewhere far away, within grasp but still far. I probably sound insane right now but it’s true.

I’m struggling to find myself. To get to know who I really am. If only there was a instruction manual for these kind of things it would make life so much easier.